Sightless
by Tsuki no Tennyo
Summary: Oneshot They say pain can make you stronger, so can it make Ritsuka and Soubi's relationship stronger than before?


**Disclaimer** "Loveless" belongs to Kouga Yun, not me.

* * *

_Sightless_  
by Tsuki no Tennyo

Horrified by what he just realized, Ritsuka turned his head away from Soubi. He couldn't bring himself to look at him, not after what happened to Soubi because of him. Ritsuka glanced quickly at the quiet man before him.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder, Ritsuka looked up into a pair of blank eyes. Guilt engulfed him as the horrible memory replayed in his mind once more. This is one of the few memories that he wished he could forget.

"Ritsuka," Soubi began but then stopped. He hesitated with what he was going to say next. He let a sigh escaped his lips as he began again. "Ritsuka, it's not your fault."

Tears were in the young boy's eyes. It was his fault no matter what anyone says. If only he weren't there. If only Soubi didn't know. If only he didn't love Soubi so much.

He laughed bitterly at the irony of that thought.

_Loveless._

The name fits so perfectly for him. He felt that he can't love anyone without him or them getting hurt. He doesn't deserve love. No, love only brought pain to the people he cared deeply for.

A squeeze brought Ritsuka back to reality. He looked at Soubi who looked straight ahead. Reaching for the hand on his shoulder, Ritsuka touched it gingerly, scared that he'll hurt Soubi even more. The warmth of the older man's hand comforted him, but not enough for the guilt and fear to leave him.

Soubi got on his knee and wrapped his arms around Ritsuka, causing Ritsuka to blush a deep shade of red. Soubi's right hand began rubbing Ritsuka's stomach in a slow, circular motion, making Ritsuka shivered at the sensual touch. Ritsuka closed his eyes as he let the memory returned to him.

* * *

Whimpering softly, Ritsuka moved slowly away from his mother, fearing that she'll strike him once more. He quickly dodged when he saw his mother throw a pot at him. The sound of her tearful cry made his heart ached.

"You're not my Ritsuka!"

He was, couldn't she see that? He wished there was a way for her to see. He wished for a mother who would care about her child, not abuse him and yell such harsh words at him. He curled up into a ball as he prepared for her next attack.

"Who are you?"

He wasn't expecting that. He looked up and saw his mother's hand held midair by Soubi. Soubi's face held no emotion, but Ritsuka could see the fury in his eyes. Soubi let got of Ritsuka's mother's wrist and walked over to Ritsuka. Scooping Ritsuka up into his arms, Soubi walked towards the door, not looking back at the woman in the room.

"Where do you think you're going? Bring that boy back!"

"You will not hurt Ritsuka," was all Soubi said as he opened the door. The sound of pots and pans banging were heard behind Soubi. He didn't look back, but Ritsuka had glanced at his mother. He squeaked softly when he saw her grabbed a glass vase.

"Soubi, watch out!"

Ritsuka's mother threw the glass vase right at the door, making it shattered into tiny pieces. Soubi had quickly ducked to the ground, holding Ritsuka close so that he will not get hurt by the glasses. In the process of protecting him, Soubi's glasses had fallen to the ground and a few broken shards flew to his eyes. Soubi cried out in pain when he felt tiny pieces of glass in his eyes.

Ritsuka whimpered softly, scared of what his mother will do next and scared for what will happen to Soubi. Crawling slowly out from under Soubi, Ritsuka tried to help Soubi up. He needed to get out of this house, away from his mother before anyone else get hurt by her blind fury.

Fortunately for him, he saw someone he recognized and whom he felt could trust in a situation like this. "Sensei!"

Hitomi was just walking home from the store with a bag of grocery in one arm while the other arm was swinging freely back and forth. She stopped walking when she heard someone yelled for her. Looking towards the direction of the voice, she saw Ritsuka standing there with a fearful look. Dropping her grocery she ran as fast as she could over to him. She let out a gasp when she saw Soubi on the floor, in pain and Ritsuka's mother holding another pot.

With tears in his eyes, Ritsuka pleaded his teacher to help him. "Please, Sensei, you have to help Soubi! Please help me get him away from my mother!"

Seeing the pained look on the young boy's face, Hitomi nodded as she bent down to help Soubi up. Ritsuka quickly told her where to take Soubi as he tried to distract his mother. He later escaped with a tiny cut on his right arm and an aching feeling inside his chest.

Pacing back and forth outside of Soubi's home, Ritsuka waited impatiently for the doctor Hitomi called to finish examining Soubi. He stopped his pacing as he heard hushed whispers inside. He anxiously waited for the door to open.

The sounds of footsteps walking towards the door made his heart stopped. The doorknob slowly turned. When the door swung opened, the doctor stood there looking very grimly at Ritsuka.

"He's going to be fine," the doctor started, unsure of how to explain the bad news to Ritsuka. He continued when Ritsuka nodded, urging him to go on. "But he won't ever see again. The glasses damaged his eyes so badly that--"

The doctor's words became but a mere muffled sound as Ritsuka digested the news. He felt weak at that moment. He felt as if any moment, he would fall and break down in tears. He forced himself to be strong, Soubi needs him right now. It was his turn to help Soubi just as Soubi had helped him.

Pushing the doctor aside, Ritsuka ran inside. He stared at the bandage wrapped around Soubi's eyes, similar to Natsuo's with the exception that it covered his eyes entirely. He felt like a stone statue, not able to move at all. He could only stand and looked on at the sightless man.

* * *

"Soubi," Ritsuka started with fresh new tears in his eyes. Because of him, Soubi was blind now. Never again can Soubi see the blue sky or the colorful flowers or anything else. He was blinded for the rest of his life, and Ritsuka knew that if he hadn't told Soubi about his mother none of this would happen.

_Why him? Why not me?_

He wished it was him that was blind. Soubi doesn't deserve this. He had nothing to do with this so why was he the one hurt?

_Because he loves me…_

That was it. Because Soubi loves Ritsuka, he protected him. No matter what was the situation, Soubi will always be there to protect Ritsuka from danger. Still, the thought helped Ritsuka accepted the reality of the situation, but the guilt was there and it will always be there until the day he die.

"Ritsuka." Soubi's voice surprised Ritsuka after getting quite used to the silence in the room. He turned around and looked at the blind, older man. Knowing, he can't see the nod Ritsuka spoke to him softly, still frightened by this whole ordeal.

"Ritsuka, can you still love me?" He had hesitated with his words. When he did voice those words, they sounded scared. "Ritsuka?"

Ritsuka reached for Soubi's hand and stroke it gently. He smiled half-heartedly and whispered in a low, hushed voice. "What a stupid question." His hand moved up Soubi's arm until they rested near his neck where the word "Beloved" was engraved roughly.

The thought of how the word was engraved made Ritsuka shuddered. He leaned in and kissed Soubi's neck. "Of course I still love you."

He wrapped his arms around Soubi's neck and rested his head on Soubi's shoulder. Slowly his eyes closed as Soubi encircled an arm around Ritsuka's waist. "I'll always love you."

Soubi could've been hurt worst. Even if Soubi can't see, he can still love. Ritsuka still have chance with him. Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise. Perhaps, the whole ordeal was to help strengthened Ritsuka and Soubi's bond. The optimistic thought made Ritsuka smiled softly.

"I'm glad," Soubi whispered, running his fingers through Rituka's dark locks. "Ritsuka."

_The End_


End file.
